Thursday, October 30, 2008
School Age Kids
I guess this mostly pertains to those of you with school age kids, but how emotionally involved do you get in their social lives? When I dropped off my kids at school this morning I noticed one of my children trying to talk to an older friend. In any other situation the child is friendly and my child considers this child to be a good friend, but this time the child was with other friends that are the same age (older than my child). This child kept walking and talking to the friends and acted like my child was not even there! It took everything I had to not burst into tears or get out of the van and let the child know what I thought about that! Would this bother you or do you feel like that is the way childhood goes and it is not a big deal? Is this just my pregnancy hormones?
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4 comments:
I have totally been there! When we lived at an apartment complex in NY, I saw many times when Kasia would go up to a group of older kids, excited to play, and say an enthusiastic "Hi!" only to be totally ignored. It has made her more shy and less outgoing in certain situations, and it breaks my heart because she is so bubbly.
In general, I would not get out of the car to talk to the group of kids (it could backfire when you're not there if they feel scolded and take it out on your kid), but there have been situations when I've been alone with a kid and I've said, "You know, you're such a nice kid, why doesn't that come out when you're with your friends and [my kid] talks to you? What can you do instead? Did you know her feelings were hurt?" That has worked. Another option is to talk to the parent in a non-accusatory way to make them aware of the situation in case they want to talk to their kid about it.
I guess I feel like part of being a community is looking out for each other and other parents, and having shared community values. I'm lucky I've had neighbors that discipline my kids when necessary, and who tell me when there's a problem and vice versa -- we work together to raise good kids.
One other thing -- definitely also talk to your kid about what you observed and how it made them feel, and reinforce that they handled it the right way, and give them ideas for next time they encounter that situation. Good luck, like I said, I've been there and it's no fun!
It is hard not to get to involved, but really I let my kids fight their own battles, so to speak.
UGH! I can't even imagine! AHHHH I don't want them to grow up!
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